Well there’s a lot of confusion here but here’s what it’s not.
- Self love is not entitlement: I refrain from using the term “I deserve love, money, ect!” Self love isn’t placing yourself above others. It’s just seeing the value in your existence and responding accordingly.
- Self love is not conditional: There seems to be a misunderstanding. People tend to think “I will be happy with myself after I make X dollars or weigh X amount.” Self love is unconditional. There’s no terms and conditions here. It’s accepting your strengths and flaws as they are. Even with room for improvement. It’s seeing the value in your own improvement.
How can you really love someone else if you don’t like yourself? It’s just that I feel that not being at peace with yourself first is doing them a disservice actually. I mean it works and all a lot but imagine the harmony found in not reflecting your own war zone internal environment onto those you care about? Just a thought.
I also learned that everything you like and dislike in somebody else is really a reflection of yourself. Same for your environment. I always used to complain that nothing changed around here but then realized I haven’t changed anything in my life in years. Scary right?
I say self love is actually loving yourself. It’s being able to stare yourself in the eyes in the mirror without judgement. A great way to counter the judgement that comes up is to repeat affirmations like “I’m good enough” or “I am powerful” or what ever helps and just repeat that over and over in your head and out loud. It helps to google some for ideas but one that is the polar opposite of what you normally tell yourself will stick out to you. It sounds really uncomfortable to say and think them, but that’s because you’ve been self defeating and hating for so long. If you practice being kind to yourself then it’ll become natural to believe these positive things about yourself!
I would always obsessively Google all my little issues and really be lead nowhere that could cure them all until someone told me, “You need to see your own worth.”
Don’t let me sound like I practice everything I preach all the time. I’m not there yet. I’m actually just beginning this self love journey. But I don’t want to hoard all this helpful information. How lame?
Tried to clear some confusion up.