I basically learned why I’ve had trouble for so long connecting with the rest of the world. I just go to school assuming that I’m [just as my friends would call it, “that philosophical ‘deep girl who’s in her own little world”.] (Of course in a child like joking matter type of air nevertheless.) But I’m one of the 4%.
Famous INFPs include:
Author of the ‘Harry Potter’ series
Author of ‘The Lord of the Rings’
Vincent van Gogh
Shakespeare: “To thine own self be true.”
John Mayer’s “childlike quality of being 12”
Recognize anybody? Oh man.
My friend sent me the Myers Briggs personality test for fun, and in reality I took it with really low expectations. I mean, by now I’ve succumbed to the fact that I’ve just been misunderstood for so long; that there was no way that this short quiz could ever nail it on the head.
People understand me so poorly that they don’t even understand my complaint about them not understanding me.
— SOREN KIERKEGAARD
In my humble opinion, if there should be any beneficial standardized tests in formal education, (at least one that would’ve really benefitted myself) it really indeed should be this one. How often than not are people unhappy with their jobs because they’ve selected one outside of their personality zone? I can’t speak on behalf of the extroverts, but my main guess that this test would mainly impact the introspective introverts, like myself. Last summer I basically spent the whole summer on the Internet until 5 am reading and learning about mixing audio and introspective blog posts, with basically the formula going like this.
*Feels*-> *Enter Google search* -> “why?”
But this got me questioning things. (Of course)
Turns out the artist I connected with way back in 7th grade- (Backstory time: Basically growing up I was always typically self-amused. I had some friends down the street but I found playtime much more fruitful when it was dreamt up, and my cats. Cats, bro? I used to play hockey until somewhat recently. I only started playing hockey because back when I was 7 I was just as philosophical and stated to my father my observation that I
A: Never stood on ice with skates on while
2a: holding a hockey stick.
I guess that meant sign me up for skating lessons but moving on.
In my mid elementary school levels, one year on a team, (I was the only female) I LITERALLY WENT AN entire season without talking to anybody. It wasn’t even in a type of “ew boys” arrogance. It was more of “I literally cannot connect with anybody here” type of way times 40 eggs. Plus my hockey coach thought it was a great gimmick to always call me out for it. That’s totally the way to “get someone out of their shell”.
If getting someone out of their shell is really a thing then by all means someone else does not commence it by any means. I would definitely agree that I’m much more social now but only because of the next part of the story.
Anyways back to 7th grade, just kidding back to elementary school, bro? Where’s the Chap Stick? I’d been playing violin since 4th grade (and that only happened because I made the observation about the bow on the strings and you can probably tell the rest) and I picked up the violin on let’s try instruments day and somehow played twinkle twinkle little star without any prior knowledge of the instrument so they signed me up for it. Hooray for concert pitch.
Also to that teacher who assigned me 2nd violin and told (me) a young 4th grader who only recognized melodies at the time and didn’t understand the concept of harmony yet that there was no distinct difference between first and second violin, it made me become so flustered and frustrated at life that I went home and leaped on my mom’s bed crying over this disparity and almost made me give music forever, that image is still as clear as day.
“Perhaps it’s good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he’s happy? Would he ever want to do anything? What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?”
― Aldous Huxley, Antic Hay
Well in 7th grade I connected with another artist’s music whom to my recent discovery just as well may be another INFP, which would probably be the best indication on why I continue to be enthralled with this person, probably some of it pertaining to the rarity it is for me to meet (or come by from this whole 4% thing) another INFP, even if its through music. But in 7th grade I began learning their songs on acoustic guitar (self taught of course) and wanting to do it on my own for no headlining-press-story for why exactly. But I completely immersed myself in it and through this I could share it with others and thus have a common subject to talk about. One where my eyes light up and full attention is ignited.
I’ve also discovered that socializing with common interests is magical, and fan bases and groups of people who like an artist more often than not have similar interests and personality types. Thus resulting to beautiful things like fruitful friendships and even relationships. I would have to say if I developed a cohesive fan base, my biggest wish would be for them to connect with each other, and mutually benefit from it. Whether it is creatively, inspirationally, or heck knows, date them! Ha, anyways, music is a great way of bringing like minds together. But back to the social thing, yeah, it’s great in the right amounts with the right people. (Don’t forget my recovery and social hangover time, its so so real man.) I mean recently I’ve noticed that if there’s too much going on at once conversationally my brain tries to analyze every single sentence and ultimately I just shut down. Instrumental music sooths this as my brain can interpret how it wants without someone (the singer) depicting what they want. It also helps me focus intensely surprisingly? And If I don’t write out these constant radio of thoughts that I have I realized that I could get just as overwhelmed as I can from prolonged socializing. Most days after school I come home and pass out, like not pass out, but PASS out, for an hour at least but sometimes I just don’t move until 5pm.
Can we also talk about how there’s something just so beautiful about the nighttime? I mean I guess I could trick myself to fall asleep if I want to, but during the wretched 3pm when I’d rather be sleeping, the dusk arriving just lights me up like nothing else. The decent of the common city folk is beautiful, and I think the nighttime is much more vivid and colorful than the day. Maybe this explains my fascination with sunsets. I adore late night walks and bike rides, just blasting music on my raving bike or touring the city at night as if you’re in some strange ghost town. It often makes me wonder why it’s like this? Are that many people really tied down to a 9-5 job? I only say tied does because INFP have a distinct difference between their day job and their true meaningful creative pursuits, so that would not be a fulfilling job for myself. But the nighttime! I guess that makes me a night owl? But I love it. Paint the sky with how you want to see it, not how others tell you to see it. Yeah Pluto, go planet it up mate. I also love the dawn. It’s the time before most common folk haven’t woken yet, and its breathtaking time of day for me. 9am is when most are waking and I’d be honored to fall back asleep. But before most are awake, the day is unwritten and it’s just blooming with untold stories. Wake me up at 7pm to do it all over again.
The content radio running through my head is definitely real, thus a great reason why my train of thought often falls off the tracks, but great for listening to music without an iPod!
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
And my personal favorite:
“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
INTP here, I can relate to a lot of your issues as well as qualities (qualities, undeniably). Sometimes I really envy the "F"eeling people they aren’t so enchained by the "T"hinking I am stuck with, without really ever getting to turn off the analytical, haha. You have some amazing prospects and no matter the other people, embrace your strengths and that beatiful voice you have, enjoy the dusks and dawns and go get it all, girl!